Penticton • Stockwell Day is using his byelection campaign to distance himself from his socially conservative, bible-belting, fundamentalist family values reputation. In the heart of BC's Reallianced Reform country, Mr. Day made an appearance at the Day Trader Day Care (no relation) to promote its 'university' childcare system.

Some analysts were surprised by Mr. Day's presence at an institution that many Christians might view as a satanic influence on their children.

But Mr. Day told his fellow ultra-right-wing evangelicals not to fear day care facilities such as Day Trader which combine advanced internet education for toddlers with traditional homestyle child-rearing. In a reference to the rift between social and fiscal conservatives in his party, he called on all Alliance members to embrace a third way he dubbed "fiscal family values."

Day Trader Day Care is able to unleash a children's e-creativity by providing a safe internet playground for their innate computer ability and encouraging their entrepreneurial sense of wonder. The staff also follow a traditional model of financial discipline, corporate punishment, and daycare downsizing that is essential to every child's self e-steem.

Technology professionals can rest assured that their children of all ages, from newbie newborns to wired iKids, will be challenged at Day Traders to succeed in the brave new world of online stock trading.

Under threes cut their teeth with educational games such as Futures Farm, Securities Sandbox and Bonds in Toyland. They graduate at their own pace to Mr. Rogers' NASDAQ Neighborhood where they set their own PERSONAL and REALISTIC Daily Goals for virtual profit.

Only when a child has mastered the day trading fundamentals of stochastic charts, trendline breakouts and reversals, market wiggle, and momentum scalping are they allowed to become full-fledged NASDAQ Level 2 traders and enter the live teddy bear trading pit.

At that point in their career, half of their parent's day care fees will be credited to the tot's online brokerage account. The family keeps 25% of all net annual market profits earned by their internet protogés.

Stockwell Day waxed enthusiastic about the potential of such university level day care facilities. "This is the type of Can-do reprogramming that our young people need-- it will inspire youthful self-reliance and positive self-respecting greed. It's especially refreshing after Chretien's outdated addiction to can't-do handouts and liberal guilt."