Many financial analysts have predicted that the recently announced takeover of CTV by BCE would touch off another round of media consolodation in Canada. Well, consider the conglomerated other shoe officialy dropped.

Conrad "Lord-it-over 'em" Black and Ted "Turner-Envy" Rodgers have revealed they are merging their media empires into one company called Codgers.

They told shocked ego-watchers and cheering merchant bankers that Codgers will ensure a single Canadian voice survives in the new global media marketplace.

Both men immediately pledged to make this one and only media voice scream as loud as possible for the dismantling of social programs and for making this country "just like the United States, except further North."

Codgers also announced its first joint-venture product: RWGN-- Rich White Guys' Network. The new cable channel will target rich middle-aged business tycoons.

Planned RWGN offerings include:

• Pretax Travel profiles exotic and exclusive travel destinations and provides experts' tips on making your vacations appear tax-deductible.
• Blacklist, a new magazine that exposes the petty pseudo-intellectuals and journalistic parasites who, consumed with envy, vindictively persecute successful and talented media magnates.
• BOSSES, a new reality TV show about REAL top corporate executives making REAL tough business decisions. The first instalment shows a group of senior managers humorously discussing plans to "Bobbitt" their workforce by 20% in order to inflate the value of their stock options.